He’s a Chump! All White Basketball League Set to Launch

By Peter Stenson

According to the Augusta Chronicle, a new basketball league consisting entirely of Caucasian, American-born players is set to launch in the summer of 2010.

Don “Moose” Lewis, the commissioner of the All-American Basketball Alliance, the association behind the all-white league, claims his league is not, in fact, racist or discriminatory. He states, “There’s nothing hatred about what we’re doing. I don’t hate anyone of color. But people of white, American-born citizens are in the minority now. Here’s a league for white players to play fundamental basketball, which they like.”

Lewis attributes much of the NBA’s on and off the court problems with non-white or foreign-born players. He says, “Would you want to go to the game and worry about a player flipping you off or attacking you in the stands or grabbing their crotch? That’s the culture today, and in a free country we should have the right to move ourselves in a better direction.”

The new league is currently looking for twelve cities to host teams. Augusta, Georgia received an offer, which was promptly turned down. Augusta’s Mayor, Deke Copenhaver, responded to Lewis’s offer by saying, “As a sports enthusiast, I have always supported bringing more sporting activities to Augusta. However, in this instance I could not support in good conscience bringing in a team that did not fit with the spirit of inclusiveness that I, along with many others, have worked so hard to foster in our city.”

Currently, there is no known city that has accepted to host a team for the all-white league.