The Semi-Finals and El Pulpo Paul

Uruguay play to the death. They’re three – one down with eighty-five minutes played and five minutes to go, and my friends decide to leave the bar. Poor decision. I decided to stay and suddenly Uruguay score and all hell breaks loose.

They sweep in ball after ball. Dutch women at the bar are screaming. The man who has been quietly supporting Uruguay for the whole game is going nuts. He wants another goal.

I’m torn. I want Uruguay to lose for what they did to Ghana, but, oh man, how amazing would it be if they scored? The referee blows the final whistle. Cameramen come running on the field.

But, wait. He actually doesn’t blow the final whistle. It’s just a free kick. He plays two more minutes. They can’t help but be controversial, can they, referees? These are the two tensest minutes. The bartender stops serving in order to watch the game. Shit has hit the fan.

Luckily for the Dutch, they hold out, and they deserve their place in the final. They’ve scored some good goals. Yes, at times they’ve been lucky, but they’ve also capitalized on their luck, and that’s vital.

The next game took until the second half to heat up. The German tactic is to be very aggressive for the first twenty minutes, and score first, so that they can then sit back and counter-attack. That’s when they’re the most dangerous. Spain never let them do this.

They had attack after attack and even though they hadn’t scored they kept searching until they found a way. The Spanish have persevered throughout this tournament, losing their first game, only to come back and win the group.

El Pulpo Paul choosing Spain over Germany.

And Paul the Octopus thinks they will win the World Cup. He’s already picked their box. The Octopus is six for six in correct predictions this world cup and apparently he’s screwing the British bookmakers.  Although some have mentioned that Spain may be paying him off with some choice crabs. This is, as of yet, pure speculation.

There were some Germans that were so annoyed that they threatened to kidnap him, cook him and then eat him (probably with a rich tomato sauce, although at this time this too has been left unspecified). In response the Spanish Prime Minister, Zapatero, has offered “El Pulpo Paul” state protection.

Even in 2010, I have more faith in an octopus (he looks so stately) than I do in any professional football player’s predictions. Has this gone too far? In South Africa, Spanish defender Carlos Marchena, has less faith in El Pulpo Paul than I do. “It’s only an octopus,” he said.